Get me out this place.

I loved the child in him,so innocent and sweet.
The mischief in his eyes,the blush upon his cheek. The tender way he spoke, that showed me that he cared .The touch of his warm hand, that gently touched my hair. The smiles that we shared,that filled my life with glee. For when I was with him.
I found the child in me.
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Hmm. Not everything is what it seams. A beutiful rose doesnt neccessarly smell good.

The newest ipod isnt always exactly what it seems in the comercials.

My point is that Just because someone says they love you doesnt mean there always honest with you. They say they didnt wanna tell you something because it will hurt you.

But having to find out through someone else, or begging them to tell you doesnt make everything all peachy cream good. Whatever. No matter what everybody lies. Your bestfriend, Your mom your dad. They all have lied to you. Ive lied to people. Told them things that werent true. Because i was afraid i was gonna hurt them or i was gonna get in trouble . But in the end someone still was hurt. And i did get in trouble. I want to get away to where no one can find me. Start over somewhere else. Where nobody knows me. Somewhere there is no lies. Where people arnt afraid to let loose and tell you what there really feeling deep down in side. Right now deep down inside of me is a broken heart that when im not with Him, comes to my head and makes it seem like everybody is out to get me. Even him...This broken heart isnt the kind of heart that you hear people crying about saying they will never be happy again and then all of a sudden a "perfect guy/girl" comes along and fixes it. No mine is different. Once i.m left. Nothing was the same anymore. I dont even have a heart anymore. Its like im living off of just the other organs in my body. I sound crazy but its true. Im letting how i really feel out to whoever is reading this. When i know that anybody i know could be reading this. I dont care though. Theres a saying thats " Dont depend on a man to make you happy". I think of it all the time but i do depend on a boy to make me happy. Hes gone. And i dont know when hes coming back. I tell him Im all his and hes mine. Thats true but i just cant get over i.m. If you only new the whole story. Youd tell me to get over him. Your never gonna see him. But i dont care. Once he tells me for him self that he doesnt want anything to do with me. And to just leave me alone. I willl. Once he tells me that he has no feelings for me what so ever. Ill leave him alone. Ughhh. why? why? why? Why cant i get him out of my mind. This is why i dont need to be sitting in my room all day with nothing to do. Cause then ill think of him. Cant wait to get back into a school that i actually like. Im really starting to hate independent study. I need to see people. Meet new people. And get a life again. I wish i had a time machine to go back to when i took that pill and stop myself from buying it. Im sooooo stupid. Gotta learn to listen to people. Well i know for sure now that no matter how depressed i am. Im never taking that pilll again. Maybe a different kind. Not really im just kidding. I promised Him that i wouldnt do any type of drugs or achohol untill im 18 and i dont wanna brake that promise. Unless i really really have too. Well I think thats it for today. Ill write more later. I have a headache so im gonna lay down and try to dream a happy dream. Then im gonna wake up and write again. Maybe.

WEllllll

The end.