One thing on my mind.

I got one thing on my mind, Can you guess what that is?

It's a five letter word. Starts with D ends with h.

Still dont know?

It's so much easier than life. Just a snap and its done.

Frees you from everyone and everything for forever.

Unless... You come back.

Start to think about, crave it, adore it, when your depressed.

Some people run from it but me i chase it.

I think you know by now.

Just incase you dont, it corrupts your mind.

Makes you cry and even makes you happy.

Five letter word; Death.

Suckss

Sooo much dumb stuff is going on in my life. And i just wish it all go away. Everytime my life gets a little better it always gets worse again, and i hate it.
I can't even hang out with two of my bestfriends anymore. Cause their mom thinks i did something when i didnt.
I don't understand why this had to happen to me.
I've been doing reall good lately than it all comes crashing down.
I just can't wait to move far away from it all.
All this mess just makes me want to just sleep it alll offf untill it goes away, until it's settled.
If it never gets settled i'll just be sleeping forever.

One more year and im 18 then i can leave and just start all over.
All this stuff happening just makes me want to leave now.
I'd rather deal with boy trouble than deal with being blamed by my bestfriends mom for something i didnt even do.
I'm just so sad/mad about all this, idk what to do..

Peace. Love. &Happiness.

Hmm.

Welll i have a new boyfriend now. 5.17.10. We've known each other since middle school. We remet like 3 weeks ago we've been hangin out ever since. I hope we last  a while cause i really like him a lot. I feel like i already made a mistake with him though cause we kinda moved too fast. I wanna see how me and him go though, i really wanna work out with him cause i dont wanna lose someone again, after i finally got a good boyfriend.

He makes me feel good. Whenever were with each other it feels like its just me and him around, nobody else. It feels good to know i have someone who really wants to be with me and doesnt just wanna use me. Cause i know hes a reall true person. He keeeps it real all the time. I can trust him.

And obviously he trusts me.

Peace. Love &Happiness.

My crush.

My crush, doesnt wanna talk to me. I really wanna get to know him more though. Idk why he doesnt like me. It makes me sad though. Like i sent him a message on i.m. and he got off soo fast. I know i dont really know him that much to like him alot but i do. And i wish he'd talk to me. Atleast to tell me why he doesnt wanna talk to me. Mann.

I just want someone that i actually like to come along and wanna be with me, and actually be a good boyfriend.

Me being so lonely is making me miss my fruitcake, when im the one who said i didnt wanna talk to him. I love him tooo much.

Its so easy for him to move on to someone, but it's so hard for me.

Cause every single last time i move on, he comes back in my life and i end up forgettin about the person i was talking to, just to TALK to him, we dont get back together. Ughh.

Back to my crush, i really like him. I think he's cool and funny. But i also think he's missing out since he doesnt wanna talk to me. And i didnt mean that in a conceited way :( welllllll.

Peace. Love. &Happiness.

Love

Dear, who ever is reading this.

I cant sleep right now cause i keep thinking about finding someone new to give my love to. Even though ive been through so much heartbreak, i wanna start off fresh. Love and be loved all over again.

I keep going back to that one person who means the most to me. Its hard, to just say no to him. When i still love him so much, ya know?

It be easier if i found someone new who really can catch my attention to just help me to stop thinking about him completely.

Well my head hurts so its hard for me to think, soo goodnight.

Peace. Love. &Happiness.

Tumblr.

Im still gonna be on here too. But follow me on tumblr. Tiaabayb.tumblr.com

Startin not to care

Im actually starting not to care if i have a boyfriend or not. Just gonna worry about other things, and let whatever happen. Im trying to enjoy life, look for jobs, focus on stupid school work, go to parties, and meet new people. Go on dates just for fun and not just because im trying to ge to know the boy im talking to better.

Im happy that even though certain things arnt going my way, i still have happiness inside me. :)

Welll..

Peace. Love. &Happiness.

Not shallow..

Im not shallow or anything.

Its just before i saw him in person, i deeply liked him. But then when i saw him, i kinda felt like all the deeply liking went away. I dont wanna tell him that i dont feel the way he does anymore. But i also dont wanna not try going out with him, just cause he doesnt look the way i expected him too. Maan. Wish i wasnt so nice. Welll.

Peace. Love. &Happiness.

Livin better.

Things got realllly bad with my life, but then ever since a few days ago they got better. Im glad things are this way. Pretty soon i might have a new lover :) haha. I was single, and my heart was taken. But now my heart is ready to move on to someone else.

I love that good things happen when you least expect them too.

Cause i have a feeling that, with this boy things will be alot different. Cause he's not immature what so ever, i really like him. I cant wait to hang out with him more.

I wanna see him soon. Cause i dont want him to start talking to someone else because he's not able to see me.

Weelll thats my update for today. Gonna try to stay here. And stop being gone for so long.

Peace. Love. &Happiness.